26th November 05

From the top of my head:

0. 12.57pm. mum comes into the room to ask what i want for lunch. I havent even had my breakfast and she doesnt know.

1. titles are so difficult to think of now. so dates will suffice.

2. Accounting exams are on Tuesday, not Thursday. So it means i have to start preparation today.

3. The exams end on Friday.

4. I'll be talking to Jinny on Friday, but then again im not sure because Jinny hasnt contacted me in ages. I cannot complain because i did walk away in the first place.

I'd like to be with you, but theres also a part of me that knows its not going to work. I need a companion, someone who can walk beside me, someone who will understand. I dont think you do.

Jinny - I miss you still.

5. Was talking to Roy last night. He told me something that left me with a very heavy heart. And i trust Roy because he knows much more than i do, from a different point of view, and i respect that.

My concepts of love and friendship are not compromised. I know exactly what im doing. I also have the utmost respect for her. Is it wrong only because it seems wrong to everyone else?

I will do something about it.

6. Tze, intentions are mostly good, as they are right now. But its true. no one is happy.

Wrong - Your pardon

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon. Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is despair, hope. Where there is darkness, light. Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love; for it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life."

-St. Francis of Assisi

Jinfeng, i'm so sorry.

forgiveness, i plead.

omggg

SO TIRED.

im not going to see sasha and digweed tmr if no one comes along with me.

BGS Major presentation, halloween

okay .. so the title says it all.
today started at 5.30 in the morning. i've never really been a morning person... but we only started preparation for the BGS (Businesss, Government and Society) Major presentation 5 days ago. we'd made excellent progress but theres always more to be done..
managed to wheedle my mum into driving me to school ... i brought 2 jackets and 1 chinese wedding cheongsam for props.

i played the demanding singaporean girlfriend. this is really the worst and best role to be playing because it always reminds me of jinny.... but its the best one because its so easy to pretend you're a brat, that you've always been given the world. anyway.. i look pleased with myself in the photo... and yes..thats he's afraid of me.

(FUCK I CANNOT UPLOAD THE PHOTO... later)

theres natalie.. playing the bride. she's from vietnam.. so she suited the role perfectly. i wouldnt use docile... but for lack of a better word to describe her... yongzhi's her new husband

victor saved our asses for the project. we had the content and the audience participation.. (i thought the skit was wonderful you guys.. we DID IT!!) but according to caroline.. not the content. it was wonderful effort in five days. i love you guys for that. and all the effort you put in. this is the cast.

from left: Prof Caroline Yeoh, Zhiqi!!!, Natalie none other than Mrs. Martha Focker bride, the guy at the back of her would be greg... person in blue.. victor!!! he loves our cake (first thing THIS guy said when he got into our seminar room was 'you all spoil market la... ' i have to agree. we had the decorations, the fancy props.. even the dry ice!!! fucking A!!! =)) then theres Geri at the back... Geri is like the MASTER of roses and pretty things that can be made out of paper. i've never seen someone as creative as her. then theres me... swimming around in my dad's dark blue coat. yes. not black. im sorry..it was so early... i really thought it WAS black. no one bothered anyways... they actually thought it looked good on yongzhi. then theres yongzhi, Mr Gaylord-focker-groom.

jinfeng and i havent talked since..last thursday.. and we havent texted since saturday... i think he takes things for granted.. he thinks im asking for the world. i've decided that i'll let him have his time till maybe... friday or something.. if he gets back to me, and still thinks im asking for the world... then i guess we'd be better off going our separate ways. All i want, is for him to call or text if he can... at least... once a day.. is that too much to ask for..

After bgs,.. after today.. after halloween... (update on halloween soon... im too tired)
20% of me misses jinfeng.
surprisingly its going down at the fastest rate ever. dont make me detatch myself from you.