26th December 2005

1. Just sent Aunt Agnes and her family off to aussie today. thats another family gone, 2 families left. I miss you all terribly, and I'm struggling to hold my tears back as i wave goodbye. Plaster a smile on my face when Brendan runs from the booths with handfuls of blue Fox's sweets we love. Recall how i held Alyssa's hand as we walked to the bookstore only hours ago. And now you're gone for a long while. At least we'll all fly over for Christmas. Save a room for me. I love you all.

2. Christmas Eve was a fairly quiet celebration, which picked up quite a bit at the end. Family set off for home after champagne and song. I slept at 4. it was a beautiful night.

3. Christmas was surreal. only the morning - when we woke up for Christmas mass - seemed real. Woke to the weariest of afternoons. Christmas shouldnt be that bad. Things picked up later in the day when i got over to Roy's place at 10. Did a haphazard mix for abit. Its 'get outta jail free' day. sounds terrible, but its the first time im staying over.

4. Tze comes over and we head for zouk. Ferry Corsten's playing. Comfortable sized crowd.

5. Roy nearly gets into a fight with another guy over some petty bitch who keeps yelling that Roy pushed her.. Something old in me wants to grab her by the hair and do something nasty. Yelling seems to have a horrid effect on me these days. it cools down eventually.

6. Roy, Tze, Cunyang and .. (i forgot his name) collaborate and hook me up with a guy called Shaun. Why THANK you once again guys. I really did appreciate that. But im really really over it. It was funny for awhile. Some guys are played so easily, its almost boring.

7. Tzetze and Cunyang cabbed it back, Roy and I shared another. Bunked at Roy's place for abit and went home at 11am, in time for lunch and dinner and stuff before i got to school at 2pm.

8. heres the boring part.
2pm - Research Work, and briefing by Di Kun, whom i really have to thank for my newfound understanding of logits.
3pm - Short meeting with Kenneth. Kenneth, I must apologize. its terrible that you had to come down just for 5 minutes...i honestly believed that it was an on-the-way thing...
3.45pm - Met Jimmy for while... lil digression... Jimmy reminds me of when school first started and i was still trying to get over the fact that lil Tzetze was gone. Jimmy will text later in the night. He makes me smile.
3.45pm - i dont know how i managed the timing but yea. this would be accurate. Short discussion on Toastmasters stuff. I love this club to bits.

9. Rush down to Kaiwei's place, met up with Zhiqi, Fenghao, 3 other guys with chinese names, all of which i cant remember to save my life. They're all very nice people, all hooked onto DOTA. which i really miss. bummed around for abit before REMEMBERING that i had another barbeque to attend.

10. Rush down to Pasir Ris, but im a tad too late. Parents arrive to drive me to the airport where i send my aunt off.

11. Talk to Livia and Tal about my current state of hopeless emotional problems. Im such a wreck. I should just die. Or stop loving anyone for awhile. Things would be so much simpler then.

12. Anyway... its not going to work out. Dont even bother asking how i know, i just do. THINGS NEVER WORK OUT IF IM INVOLVED ANYWAY. So please dont do this to me, because im really too tired to be hurt again. and i really dont want to lose a friend. - you're a Godsend.

23rd December 2005

1. Today marks the eve of the eve of Christmas. which means its celebration time. unfortunately, i dont feel like celebration.

2. School is round the corner.

3. My good friend is in love.

4. I just got a call in the middle of typing 3. Isaac got robbed and beaten up and he didnt tell me. Isaac, why didnt you tell me? im seeing you for awhile tomorrow.

5. I can think of anything decent to say. oh yea. his driving is fucking terrible.

22nd December 2005

1. Christmas shopping isnt done... and i dont seem to care.

2. i dont seem to care about Christmas in general. all im going to remember this year was the confessional and how hard it was to make a decent confession.

3. RA work .. still no idea what Prof really wants. in the dark.

4. im slacking off my CCAs... i really have to do something about it but that doesnt seem that important now.

5. Tze would be leavin for brissy soon. its hard to believe that he was here from the week the exams started. i havent seen alot of Tze the past three days. save that night at MOS. MOS is a really nice place, but they should get better DJs. at the current moment, they could settle for winamp and the people cheering and dancing wouldnt know the fuckin difference.

6. I've been spending nearly everyday at Roy's place learning how to beatmatch. Breakthrough yesterday... and i was over the moon. now, 'kiss my eyes' and 'so many times' (forgot the track name but i think thats it.).. are running through my head over and over .. i dont think i'll ever forget.

7. havent had dinner!

8. Met JC friends today... Zhiqi, Yvonne, Regina, Janice, Edith. We miss Cman. She's coming back in January.

9. Bought a new toy today. ivideo or whatever its called. its pretty. Black. Tze says im always in black and its somewhat depressing.

10. told jinfeng off today. its crystal clear why we cant be together. even Tze has nothing more to say about it.

11. James has a play tomorrow. I'll see you guys there. =)

12. Whoever you are, because you know who you are... Its been two years, maybe even three. Why now? Actually. dont answer that. =)